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WHEN ALARM BELLS SHOULD RING:
Recognizing Personality Disorders
By
Susan Schwartz Senstad, M.A., M.F.T., M.F.A.
“[Do not] discount the need to view pathology as pathology.
A situation involving pathology needs to be dealt with appropriately.
And the more information you have about the particular disorder
of the other person, the better. That way you know what is the illness
and what is more personal. You know what to expect and what it is
unrealistic to expect. You are less vulnerable and less judgmental.
You can deal with a situation - and the other person - more creatively
and with more understanding. You will know how - and when - you
need to protect yourself and your own vulnerabilities.”
Drs. Hal & Sidra Stone
From: http://www.bodymindinformation.com
“One of the more destructive experiences of being the child
of a woman with my mother’s disturbance is that the world
around her was convinced she was just lovely. I’m sure you
know well that some people with Personality Disorders have amazing
capacity for reading their environment with exquisite sensitivity
(not to be confused with empathy) and then mocking up a behavior
that is convincing – as long as one doesn’t come too
close to their inflamed zones. And so, my reality was consistently
denied by the world around me; there must be something wrong with
me if I was so upset with that ‘lovely’ mother. The
more desperate I became to get the world to see the hurt and abuse
I was being subjected to in private, the more the world (including
my mother) told me there was something really wrong with me –
after all, my desperation was so hysterical, they all said, so over-the-top!
It became a vicious circle making the prospects of being believed
– even by myself – slimmer and slimmer. ‘Blaming
the victim’ became the pattern, inside me and out, as well
as a tendency not to recognize abuse when it’s perpetrated
against me. Nobody ever stopped my mother when I was growing up,
or helped me learn to stop her.”
Private letter from the daughter of a
Borderline Personality Disordered mother
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Table of Contents
Aims of this article
What is ‘normal’?
What is ‘abnormal’
Warning signs that a potential client/student
may suffer from a Personality Disorder
What to do – but first, what NOT to
do
Working with a client/student whose parent
and/or partner suffers from a Personality Disorder
Doing Bonding Pattern work with a client/student
with a Personality Disordered parent and/or partner
About the author
Appendix 1: References and Useful Books
& Websites
Appendix 2: DSM IV – Personality
Disorders
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