Facilitation under Supervision:
A Summary of My Introductory Comments
by
Martha-Lou Cohen, Ph.D.
In the late 1970's Hal and Sidra Stone put forth their model
of consciousness. It has three essential ingredients: first,
direct experience in the selves; second, observing these selves
from a place of awareness; and third, developing a center point
from which it is possible to embrace the selves and have choice
over their effect on us. Voice Dialogue is the technique they
created to guide a person through these three steps and ignite
an Aware Ego Process.
In order to use this method with clients it is essential to
avail yourself of Voice Dialogue personally. Further, facilitation
under supervision is very helpful in developing these skills.
A facilitator is responsible:
1) to create an environment to which there will not be interruptions,
[If there is an intrusion while the subject is in a self, the
facilitator must move the subject back to the center so that
he/she shifts from the altered state and is able to be fully
present.]
2) to establish the length of the session and determine how
much time is available for each phase of the session. The person
being facilitated has little awareness of time. [It is easy
to do this without disturbing the flow by making a habit of
checking when the person moves from one place to another.]
3) to be fully attentive to the subject without judgment or
a personal agenda for the outcome.
There are two fundamental principles that apply in the practice
of facilitation. One is to pick selves that are accessible and
unchallenging for the facilitator and the subject. The second
is to stop the session if either person feels uncomfortable,
come to the center and discuss the dynamic that has developed.
A facilitator is a guide. The purpose is to allow the subject
to experience selves, be aware of them, and establish a new
relationship with the selves from the center. By carefully following
this specific format, unconscious material will be brought to
consciousness in a safe way. C.G. Jung taught us that there
is momentum in the human experience toward increasing consciousness.
The Voice Dialogue technique is designed to support this. We
are not responsible to resolve a conflict or advise the person
on specific behavior. The work itself will shift the person's
process. Life events, dreams and intuitions will continue to
guide this journey.
We do Voice Dialogue 1) to offer a direct experience of the
selves; 2) provide opportunity to observe them from the Awareness
Level and 3) induct the Aware Ego Process in the center between
selves. We make a clear separation between these three aspects
of facilitation by using a distinct position for each of them.
We begin in a central position. Then when a self speaks to the
facilitator, it sits in a location of its own. When each self
is finished, the subject returns to the center. During the Awareness
Level the person stands away from the selves and does not speak
while the facilitator reviews the session. Then the subject
returns to the center.
We also pay attention to the pronouns being used in order to
distinguish between these three elements. For example, when
a man named David is in the center, he refers to himself as
"I". When he moves to a self, the "I" is
then the self, and we refer to the center with his name, David.
It is important for the facilitator to listen carefully to the
comments of the self and restructure the language accordingly.
For example, if a self says, "When I went to the store",
we would ask it to say, "When David went to the store",
because a self cannot actually go to the store alone. If the
Rational Mind says, "I was studying the book", it
may actually be the mind that was studying. The use of "I"
is appropriate. When a self says, "I bought that car",
the facilitator needs to determine if it really was the self
that selected the car or whether it was David or another self.
A self might say, "I was seven when my mother died",
and we correct that phrase by using the person's name, saying,
"David was seven when his mother died".
The coherence of a self is based on its energy. During the session
it is the facilitator's responsibility to maintain the energetic
consistency of each self. If another energy begins to be present
while a self is speaking, we point this out, explain what we
are experiencing and suggest that the new self be set aside.
By doing this we are able to complete the interaction with the
self that was originally there. Later in the facilitation we
can speak to the invading self. This can be discussed when the
subject has returned to the center.
It is useful to work in groups of three: a facilitator, an observer,
and a subject. The observer is present, 1) to watch and learn,
2) to monitor the quality of the interaction and 3) to give
feedback at the end of the session.
We begin with two people who sit face-to-face. They decide which
selves are important at the moment. These may come from a stressful
situation in which two selves wanted the subject to respond
in conflicting ways. A dream may be presented in which selves
are present. There may be a challenging relationship dynamic,
which needs some elucidation.
Usually it is a pair of opposites that the person wants to understand
more fully. The facilitation begins with the self that is more
present in the person's life (primary). The opposite self will
follow.
Some selves emerge early in life to steer a child in a direction
which leads to rewards rather punishment. We respect these selves
because they have created a life that has helped the person
survive. They act as an Operating Ego and are crucial to the
every day functioning of an individual. Therefore, we begin
a session with the self that is more familiar and has been around
the longest.
We ask about its development in specific life circumstances,
and about its rules for the current life situation. We then
explain that the Voice Dialogue technique is designed to help
a person appreciate it, become more aware of the opposite and
be able to return to a central position where both selves can
be embraced and honored. We ask if the Primary Self has any
objections to our meeting its opposite. Making a contract and
gaining permission to continue is indispensable in Voice Dialogue.
A question may be framed like this: "We are interested
in going to your opposite, what are your thoughts about this?
" At this point, there can be an agreement on the conditions
under which the other self can be met. For example, the primary
self may want to limit the amount of time the person is in its
opposite or it might be concerned about the facilitator's reaction
to the disowned self.
In the process of this negotiation it is important to make clear
that the primary self will be in charge for the rest of the
session. If it wants to mute the self or if it wants to stop
the facilitation, it has every right to do that. After all,
this primary self has guided the person for many many years
and has had very good reason for keeping the opposite
self from gaining control. It knows the degree to which the
subject is able to experience the disowned self and still walk
out of the session in a stable condition. As facilitators we
cannot know these thresholds, therefore, we leave the limit
setting to the primary self. It has this responsibility and
it does not have to relinquish this until it observes that the
person actually can sit in the center and regulate the opposite
self with discretion.
The facilitator asks if the subject has a sense of where the
self might be and suggests he/she move to a specific place to
allow it to speak. We begin to listen and to inquire about the
perspective, function and purpose of the self; about the energy
it carries and its relationship with the person.
A self is honored by reflecting on its importance in the person's
life. It is helpful to guide the self to an understanding of
its particular gifts that result from its unique perspective
and a set of beliefs. This is its specific intelligence. Each
self has an internal logic, which leads it to feel it has the
whole truth.
In addition to its concepts, each self has a specific energetic
that needs to be explored and described. While doing this, it
helps if facilitators tap into the same self within them. Energy
is a physical experience. It is important that the subject notice
the impact of the self in the body by recognizing the intensity,
breadth, movement, location and/or vitality of the energy. We
point out the quality of life that is made possible because
of the presence of this energy.
Each self has a history with the person. Some selves came in
early in life to function as the Operating Ego. Disowned selves
are less familiar. It is informative to ask selves how they
developed, what specific situations influenced their magnitude
and what authority they have at the moment.
Before finishing, it is important to ask if this self has anything
else to say. Finally, we respectfully energetically disconnect
from it.
When the person has returned to the place where the session
began, there usually is a pause. After a moment, we may ask,
"How does it feel here? Is it different from the experience
you had in the self?" We help the subject expand this sensitivity
by carefully differentiating the energetic qualities of the
self from the place in the center. In order to strengthen the
Aware Ego Process, it is helpful to ask, "What are the
gifts of this self?" Here a facilitator can point out that
some gifts are the result of the perspective and belief of the
self, and others are from its energy. This is a critical distinction.
We can learn to experience the energy of a self without having
to carry through on the behavior the self believes in. For example
from the center, Judy can begin to use the fearlessness of her
warrior, expressing it without having to attack someone physically,
which the warrior might recommend.
Another important inquiry is, "What are the limitations
of this self?" This question cannot be asked of the self
because it is unable to perceive its own shortcomings. From
the center it is possible to evaluate what cannot be felt from
the self. The limitation can simply be that the self has only
one perspective and one energy, therefore, if we were in it
all the time life would be very incomplete.
If the person does not experience a difference in the energy
of the self and the center, this may indicate that Voice Dialogue
is an inappropriate technique. As long as there is some differentiation
in the center, the facilitator may continue by inviting the
subject to move to the place of the opposite self.
Proceed by interviewing with questions about function, history
and energy. It is important to resonate with the energy of the
self and reflect on its gifts.
Disowned selves are less well known. They may doubt their importance
and many have difficulty believing the person will appreciate
them. Sometimes a disowned self has been relegated to very specific
situations. For example, a self that can completely relax may
come through only when the person is in a Jacuzzi or having
a massage. On other occasions the Pusher may be in control.
As this disowned self is being facilitated it is crucial to
point out that it is, in fact, present in the room. We can learn
to feel this energy at any time without having to wait for a
massage or Jacuzzi. People often spend a great deal of money
to create a context for a disowned self. A businesswoman may
buy a sports car in order to feel the thrill of the drive but
rarely actually drives it in an exciting way. During a facilitation
of the "racecar driver" its energy is present. She
can discover many ways of bringing it into her life.
When this phase of the facilitation is complete the person returns
to the center.Again it is important to help the subject experience
the quality of the energy in the center and establish a new
relationship to the self.
Now we ask the subject to stand to the side where it is possible
to see the session with no judgment and no desire for change,
with pure observation and no action. We review the session,
giving a brief account of the function, history and energy of
the selves, as well as, a narrative of the person's experience
in the center. It is important to offer the subject some time
in silence before returning to the center.
When the person is in the center, there is a new experience
of the selves, a greater capacity to appreciate them and know
they each have their own individual gifts and limitations. This
is when the Aware Ego Process
is born, after a subject has had a direct experience of the
selves, has stepped out of the system to observe them and returned
to the center. The Aware Ego Process is not a steady state.
It is clarified with reference to each individual self over
and over again.
There is a distinctive energy present center to center. The
Stones call this Conscious Linkage. We point out the quality
of this connection, noticing the fullness of it, the lack of
judgment and the presence we have with each other.
Beginning with the first self that was met, the subject is asked
to bring in a small amount of its energy without bringing in
the energy of any other self. The person might use this level
when he/she wants to check in with the self, acknowledge it,
and gain some wisdom from it. Then we encourage the person to
bring in more of this energy so that there is a significant
experience of the self. We could say the self is in 50%. It
begins to feel like it has the whole truth. However, there is
still some Aware Ego Process available making it possible to
negotiate with the self. Now the facilitator can say, "Imagine
you are going into a situation where this self is the one you
want to have available. Invite this self in 80%". In the
past in such a situation, the self might have come in 100%.
The difference here is that there is still awareness it is a
self. When the situation is over, the person has the ability
to thank the
self and separate from it.
After completing this exercise with the first self, it is repeated
with the second. This is designed to induct an experience of
sitting between the two selves and having choice about their
impact. The energy of the center is often unfamiliar because
in every day life one or the other of the selves has been operating.
In the course of guiding these energetic shifts, the facilitator
may also point out that the connection between the facilitator
and the person changes. When the energy is in a small amount,
the linkage between both people is strong but less than when
the self was not there at all. When the self is in 50% the person
being facilitated begins to see
the facilitator through the eyes of the self and at the same
time has a capacity to be linked. When the self is in 80% the
facilitator essentially sees the self but there is still some
linkage.
At the completion of this exercise it is important for the subject
to have a few minutes to experience this Conscious Linkage.
Time can be taken to reflect on this new feeling and compare
it to the beginning of the
session.
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