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THE AWARE EGO PROCESS
VOICE DIALOGUE AND PERSONALITY TYPES
by
GENEVIÈVE CAILLOUX
- PIERRE CAUVIN
OSIRIS CONSEIL
THE ONE
AND THE MANY
First situation.You have to make a decision. The only thing
is that there is a for and against on either side, your heart
and head hesitate between the two, you don’t know which
one to choose, pulled as you are between two voices, one as
strong the other.
Second situation.A new problem pops up: you can’t figure
out how to solve it. What you know how to do doesn’t work:
you’re told to be creative. But how do you become creative?
Where is creativity hiding in you?
Third situation.Your usual way of doing things no longer satisfies
you: you feel that a good part of your potential is lying fallow.
How can it be cultivated, developed?
These examples, which could easily be multiplied, shed life
on a fact of experience: we are not monoliths, made of a single
block. We have different facets, different strategies. We use
them as best we can, depending on the circumstances. But some
of them are better developed, better mastered and take front
stage: others are more in the background, less natural and require
more effort.
| In this never-ending play of adaptation and interaction
with the environment, two series of factors are at work: |
- on one hand, spontaneous functioning modes, natural operational
processes that are specific to each individual and different
from one person to another. They concern the fundamental
psychic processes at work in any action undertaken;
- on the other, acquired strategies, gradually developed
during life to better reach the objectives, conscious or
unconscious, that we have set for ourselves.
THE LAWS OF PSYCHIC LIFE
These two series of factors, which will be described a little
further on, follow three major laws of psychic life:
1. The law of the seesawPsychic life is a dynamic system consisting
of opposite polarities whose very tension creates movement.
More precisely, everything that we develop spontaneously creates
the appearance of the opposite polarity in the unconscious.
There are three ways of using the seesaw:
- you can suddenly change sides. This is a game that children
play; it can be fun for a while but the sudden seesaw is
difficult to live, as much for you as for the people around
you
- you can block the seesaw to avoid the changes mentioned
above. In this case, calm is ensured but the system is frozen
- lastly, you can place yourself in the middle of the seesaw
and manage its oscillations with precision to make the required
changes easier without being their plaything.
2. The law of inflationAny effective strategy tends to become
dominant, even exclusive. The better it works for the individual,
the more it tends to push the opposite pole back into the unconscious.
All the functioning modes and usual strategies form the Operational
Ego. In a certain way it is the default position or the automatic
pilot. It is indispensable in daily life in order to not have
to reinvent everything each morning; but if it takes up too
much room, the seesaw gets blocked and the adaptation capacity
disappears.
3. The law of permanent evolution
The Aware Ego is what permits the seesaw to be managed, in other
words, using the appropriate mode or strategy depending on needs
without however loving what you have burned or burning what
you have loved. It is the director and the conductor; it governs
the interaction of the different facets of the individual. The
Aware Ego is not a state you reach, but a constant process of
stepping back and “unhooking” from the dominant aspects.
The Aware Ego is not in a state of “is.” It is in
a constant state of evolution. Like the ferret it slips in here
and will slip back out there. This does not presuppose a development
time frame, an objective to be reached; on the contrary, development
is nothing other than the constant implementation of this process.
DIFFERENT FACETS
A first aspect of our multiplicity is shown in the way in which
we function, in which we are “wired.” Among the tools
we have available to us, some are privileged over others. Following
Jung and those who developed his thinking, we can discern four
fundamental dimensions, each of which is determined by two poles.
These four dimensions are:
- the origin and orientation of our psychic energy: either
it comes from outside us and invests itself in the outside
as a preference, and we will speak of Extraversion; or it
comes from inside us and invests itself in us as a preference
and we will speak of Introversion
- the modes of perceiving and gathering information: either
on a factual, pragmatic, sequential mode and we will talk
of Sensing; or on a global, synthetic, immediate mode and
we will talk of Intuiting
- decision-making criteria: Thinking makes the decision
in a distanced way by applying a grid of logical criteria;
Feeling involves itself in evaluating the coherence of the
decision with the scale of personal values.
- how we handle space and time: space and time are managed
either in a methodical and rigorous way, organization and
planning predominating; or in a flexible and reactive way,
spontaneity and adaptation prevailing.
Two poles exist on each dimension but one is preferred naturally
and its use is immediate, easy, requiring little effort; the
other demands a greater learning effort to access it. Specific
characteristics, which enable psychological “types”
to be identified, follow from this.
Each type has its own evolution dynamic. In fact, the different
dimensions interact; the four main functions, notably, Sensing,
Intuiting, Thinking and Feeling take different positions –
dominant auxiliary, tertiary, inferior – in the psychic
structure that make it possible to identify their order of appearance,
their degree of accessibility and the development path to better
manage polarities that are not spontaneously preferred. This
dynamic is easily represented on a simple graph whose axes are
the perception and decision-making dimensions. The functions
are then sited in their hierarchical order. This graph is called
the “function cross.”
A second aspect of our multiplicity is shown in the strategies
we put to work to obtain our objectives, adapt ourselves to
the environment. They may appear very early in life: a baby
quickly learns the best way to get the attention of those around
him. These early learnings give rise to behavior patterns that
take on a relative autonomy in the psychic life: every one of
us is quite aware of “donning” an outfit according
to whether we are at the office, at home, with a group of friends
or with our children…. These strategies are often so dense
that the initiators of this approach, Hal and Sidra Stone, talk
of “Selves.”
Certain of these strategies or Selves quickly take on a dominant
role. They are the ones that make our adaptation easier, that
are awarded by our parents during childhood, that permit us
later on to reach our main objectives, whether they are explicit
or mostly unconscious. The dominant strategies tend, according
to the second law that we mentioned above, to take more and
more room, even all the room. They then push back into the unconscious
the opposite polarity, which is either unintegrated if it did
not have the occasion to emerge, or denied if its timid expressions
have been repressed.
The number of Selves varies and their form changes from one
individual to another and over time. Particularly because of
the similarity of cultural context, however, certain strategies
are common to a number of us: the inner child, the critic, the
perfectionist, the workaholic are some examples of them among
others. The most interesting aspect is not the general and abstract
nomenclature or the longest list possible of each individual’s
Selves, but the comprehension of the characteristics of the
main Selves and of the way they appear.
Functioning modes and strategies interact and spotting these
interactions permits our psychic dynamic to be better understood.
- There is often pairing between Selves and psychic functions.
The “creative” easily links itself to the Intuiting
function, the “pragmatic” finds a natural ally
in the Sensing function. In this respect, the spontaneous
functioning mode predisposes us to developing certain strategies
in preference to others.
- There can also be variations of a self on different psychic
modes. So the Feeling function predisposes us to developing
a "Pleaser". But an individual with a spontaneous
preference for the Thinking function may also be led to
develop a “pleaser” strategy. In this case, this
Self will express itself differently than the preceding
Self.
- It is also possible to draw a map of Selves on the diagram
that usually represents the type development dynamic (function
cross). The different interactions possible then appear
very clearly.
The Aware Ego Process approach sheds new light on interactions
between people. Exchanges between Peter and Paul don’t
take place between two individuals but between two sets of Selves
using different psychic functions. So there is no single bonding
pattern but a host of possible patterns depending on the strategies
that come into play. Each pattern is based on a complementarity
of strategies: one individual’s position of strength weaves
a link with the other’s position of symmetric fragility
and vice-versa. Here too, a simple method enables these patterns
and the way in which they may turn around, for example, from
positive to negative, to be represented.
HOW CAN THE AWARE EGO PROCESS
BE FAVORED IN PRACTICE?
How can we now go from theory to practice? How can we make
sure that it is the Aware Ego that is most often at the controls,
by using the most appropriate strategy rather than leaving a
Self in the cockpit?
Several approaches are available.
This method was developed by Hal and Sidra Stone; it forms the
basis of coaching sessions. Its effectiveness is greatest when
it is carried out with the help of an outside facilitator. Once
a person gets used to it, it is not out of the question for
him to use some of its elements alone.
The principal element is the differentiation between the Aware
Ego and the Selves, during the session, facilitated by physical
movement. Each time that you give the floor to a Self, you get
out of your seat and place yourself in a spot that better suits
this Self. This movement has two objectives:
- it facilitates the distinction between the person who
is trying to look clearly into himself and who therefore
is getting closer to his Aware Ego, and of a facet of himself
that has a particular viewpoint on the question. If this
facet occupies a large place, it will tend to resist the
movement because it has a tendency to associate itself with
the person, to be considered as itself and not as a part
of the person
- it permits the Self to enter into contact with the deep
energy that nourishes it, to go farther into what it is,
what it thinks, what it wants for the person without encountering
any contradiction. The experience is richer and deeper than
if we talked about it from the outside, it integrates aspects
that are not only rational but also affective and energizing.
Some of our behaviors, some of our reactions, are very reliable
indicators of the absence or presence of the Aware Ego. Sharp
vigilance then allows us to spot the moments when a Self takes
power by evicting the Aware Ego.
Assertions of a universal nature generally express a partial
and biased viewpoint. The Aware Ego knows how to weigh the subtleties
in life, because it embraces the two polarities. A Self, on
the other hand, often has the tendency to see only one side,
its own. As soon as we hear ourselves utter sentences beginning
with “All the…,” “Only the…,”
“As for me, I am…” and others like them, it would
be a good thing to stop and ask the question “Who in me
is speaking?”
This is the step that logically follows generalization. A Self
easily passes judgment on the opposite pole, it blames it. As
for the Aware Ego, it does not judge; but it shows discernment
and decides. What is the difference between judgment and discernment?
- the emotive load is considerably stronger in judgment
than in discernment
- the ability to see two (or more) aspects of a question
is low in judgment and high in discernment
- judgment is rapidly and peremptorily pronounced, discernment
often takes more time, is more subtle
- a decision made under the influence of a judgment is susceptible
to a brutal turnaround later on, by virtue of the universal
law that says “for every action there is an equal and
opposite reaction” or the saying “the pendulum
swings both ways”; what we haven’t taken into
account comes back sooner or later in one form or another.
This is the mechanism by which we attribute to others what we
don’t see in ourselves. It may be positive through attribution
of a quality, or negative through attribution of a shortcoming.
As in judgment and discernment, projection is differentiated
from the simple perception that we may have of someone through
the emotive load that connotes it and by the disproportion between
the feeling and the object to which it is directed, which is
worth “Neither this excess of honor, nor this dignity.”
Judgments and projections are basically expressed in bonding
patterns, i.e., in the relationships that our different Selves
form with those of the people with whom we are in contact. When
the patterns take up so much room that it becomes hard for us
to get out of them, either because the satisfaction that we
feel from them prevents any adaptation or evolution, or because
the frustration that inhabits us shuts us up in a vicious circle,
then there is a clear sign that relationships are no longer
formed between Aware Ego and Aware Ego, but between the Selves,
each of which takes itself for the essence of each of the protagonists.
In short, in each of these different cases, we should ask ourselves
just one single question: “Who’s speaking?” and
look for the Self that has slipped itself into the place of
the Aware Ego.
“The royal path of the unconscious,”
dreams speak to us about ourselves. Each element of the dream
is a part of the dreamer, one of his strategies or Selves, whether
it is preferred and dominant, or inferior and unintegrated.
The writing of the dream, its reading and rereading, the act
of drawing it, playacting it, then helps shed light on the status
of each part of us vis-à-vis the place each of our facets
occupies in relation to the others, which will make the entire
psychic structure evolve. |
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| The Aware Ego Process approach is directly inspired
by the latest developments of Voice Dialogue, by Drs. Hal and Sidra
Stone. It integrates the contributions of the theory of psychological
types developed by C.G. Jung. In France, several dozen consultants
have been trained in this process. Some reference works are listed
below: |
CAUVIN Pierre et CAILLOUX Geneviève
- Le Soi aux mille visages, Éditions de l'Homme, Paris-Montréal
2001
CAUVIN Pierre et CAILLOUX Geneviève - Les types de personnalité,
ESF, Paris, 4° édition 2003
CAUVIN Pierre et CAILLOUX Geneviève - Deviens qui tu es,
Le Souffle d'Or, Barret le Bas, 2° édition 1998
STONE Hal et Sidra – Le dialogue intérieur, Souffle
d'Or, Barret le Bas, 1991
STONE Hal et Sidra – Les relations source de croissance, Souffle
d'Or, Barret le Bas, 1991
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