In the article "Embracing All Our
Selves", we speak of the Psychology of Selves, the theoretical
framework for our work. We discuss the development and the importance
of the "selves" which we view as the smallest units
or the building blocks of the psyche.
Voice Dialogue
is the method which enables one to contact, understand, and
work directly with these selves. It is precise, like a laser
beam, enabling the clinician, or a facilitator, to focus upon
a specific area of psyche for exploration, understanding, and
healing. Voice Dialogue is a tool which is compatible with most
psychological systems and can be used with a wide variety of
backgrounds. Of course, one's individual theoretical framework
will undoubtedly affect the choice of selves to be explored
and will impact the way in which the information gained by this
method is processed.
It is interesting to note that
Voice Dialogue grew from our own relationship and our own needs
for a new way to learn about one another; it was not developed
in a clinical setting. Therefore, it is totally accepting and
non-judgmental. It is not oriented towards pathology nor is
it focused upon discovering what is wrong. It is an exploration
of what is, without assumptions as to how things should be.
When using this method, one assumes that all selves are to be
honored; that each one has both positive and negative aspects.
The basic attitude of the "facilitator", i.e., the
person who facilitates this process, is one of interest and
acceptance.
The Basic
Principles
An attitude of acceptance and respect is extremely important
in the Voice Dialogue facilitation process. The facilitator
is an explorer, an interested observer who is trying to discover
as much as possible about each self. The selves are extremely
sensitive to the feelings and judgments of the facilitator and
they will not respond if they sense disapproval or manipulation.
This is a method that will not work effectively unless it is
used with a proper attitude. When it is used properly, however,
it provides quick and easy access to much of the psyche.
When facilitating using the Voice Dialogue method, we are
not trying to change selves, to get rid of them, or to help
them to grow up and be more sensible. There should be no agenda.
Changes will take place, growth will occur, there will be healing,
but these cannot be the aims of the facilitator
The
facilitator does not negotiate amongst selves. There is no attempt
to get the selves to agree on anything. Each self is different,
and these differences are to be respected. Instead of trying
to get the selves to agree, the facilitator helps each self
to clarify its views and to give as much information as possible.
Thus, the subject (or client) learns to live with the tension
of opposing viewpoints represented by these selves and to make
decisions which take these opposites into consideration.
The aim in Voice Dialogue is to expand the client's ability
to make choices in life rather than to behave in an automatic
and unconscious fashion. This is the aim of most therapeutic
systems, however it is conceptualized.
For us, this
ability to have choice when making decisions, to see both sides
of an issue and to behave with greater awareness and consciousness
is carried by an ever-evolving aspect of consciousness that
we call an "Aware Ego". We see this Aware Ego as separate
from the selves, aware of them and of the effect that they have,
and able to make choices by taking the views of opposing selves
into consideration.
The Method
First relax, get centered and quiet your own inner pusher
and critic. Ideally these sessions are conducted in a relaxed
yet alert fashion. The emphasis is upon the subject, not upon
your performance as the facilitator. You will be observing
the subject's energy patterns and looking at physiological,
emotional and linguistic cues. People love to do Voice Dialogue
and if you remain unselfconscious, this method is quite simple.
The first step in this process is to create a "psychic
map". By this, we mean you as the facilitator will identify
some of the primary selves that are operating in the subject's
life and the selves that carry the opposite characteristics
that are disowned. This is done by listening as the subject
discusses some aspect of life or a particular issue that is
troublesome. It is important to get a picture of the territory
that is to be explored before beginning so that you have an
idea of how the selves are aligned and what might be expected
in the facilitation.
This "psychic map" is open to constant revision.
You may keep this "map" abstract as a concept, or
you might actually draw a diagram or picture for yourself
and your client. Your own clinical background will determine
the way in which you conceptualize this psychic map.
Listen for the primary selves as the subject discusses values
and characteristic behaviors. The astute clinician will easily
detect these primary selves. For instance, phrases like: "I
never seem to get enough done", "I'm always in a
rush", "There aren't enough hours in the day"
suggest that the Pusher is a primary self. Thus, the facilitator
would see the Pusher as a primary self and the "Lazy
bones" or "Beach Bum" as a disowned self. These
maps can be as simple or as complex as you wish. At the most
simple, you will be thinking in terms of primary and disowned
selves and of the vulnerable child which is being protected.
Listen for the disowned selves as the subject criticizes others.
When a client says critically of someone else: "She is
so self-involved and inconsiderate. Her children already have
problems." it is quite likely that this client has disowned
her own selfishness and is unable to pay attention to her
own needs. A man who says angrily of another: "He is
a tyrant" has probably disowned his own power and characteristically
defers to the requirements of others.
For example, "It sounds like there's a part of you
that's always in a hurry and trying to do more even when you
are getting tired and want to rest." If you hit upon
a primary self, most people will respond easily to this suggestion.
"Yes, that's me. I can always do a little bit more."
Another way of doing this is to speak about two sides of a
conflict as two different selves. For instance: "So,
one part of you wants to go to school and train to be a teacher,
but another part is afraid that if you are away from home
too much, your family will suffer." If the client responds
positively, you are in a position to talk to both selves.
"the part that wants to go to school" and "the
part that thinks it is important to put the needs of the family
first".
Voice Dialogue is not for everyone, and the client must be
able to think in terms of selves. As the client becomes accustomed
to thinking in terms of selves, it is a small step to move
him or her into a position of talking to them.
When you are ready to talk to a specific self, simply
ask your client to move to another space in the room. The
client, or subject, then changes position or seats or simply
moves his/her chair. The original position of the client's
chair is taken as the position of the client's ego or the
Aware Ego.
This movement away from the original position is very important
even though at first it may feel somewhat artificial. This
aides in the separation and the objectification of the selves.
It is also a great help for you as the facilitator because
you will be able to use the positions of the selves to identify
them and to see how they relate to one another. As the selves
position themselves about the room, they actually create a
psychic map. The selves will return to their individual positions
when you talk with them on subsequent occasions.
Each self has its own position and the selves will play out
their dramas around the Aware Ego. The Protector Controller
might sit between you and the client's original chair. The
vulnerable child invariably sits in a corner or curls up on
a couch (often with a pillow if this is available). The inner
critic has a tendency to stand up and survey the entire scene
to get a better perspective. Angry selves often prefer to
pace around the room.
Once the self has taken up its position in the room, the
facilitator can begin to speak with it. Simply talk with the
self as though it were a real person because, as you will
discover, it is. As we mentioned at the beginning, your attitude
will be most important at this time. The more curious, open
minded, empathetic you can be, the better this will work.
Feel free to use all your clinical skills in interviewing
the self. It will be appreciated.
The most amazing discovery is that these selves are delighted
to talk. So relax and enjoy. If this becomes tedious or burdensome,
stop. Either you are trying too hard, or you have lost the
self and are talking to a protective self that is trying to
keep you away from something that seems too threatening.
The most important work that you will do is to separate
the subject from his or her primary selves. Although the work
with disowned material may be more dramatic, it is the separation
from the primary self that is the essential goal. If the Aware
Ego does not successfully separate from the primary self,
then it will just move in again when the client leaves your
office and will resume control of the client's life.
In later sessions, the disowned selves can be explored. This
is done only after the primary selves are understood and their
role in the client's life is fully appreciated. The primary
selves are an amazing source of information about the difficulties
and dangers that have faced your client. They know about the
vulnerability, the fears, and the inadequacies that need protection.
Once the primary selves are aware that the client is ready
to accept responsibility, they will allow you to work with
the disowned selves.
After working with a disowned self, take time to check back
with the primary self that represents the opposite characteristics.
This emphasis upon the primary selves keeps the work safe
and allows progress at a rate that is appropriate to your
client.
As you do this work, you will become even more sensitized
to very subtle changes in your client. The astute clinician
has always been sensitive to shifting selves or energy patterns.
You will find that the more you use Voice Dialogue, the more
sensitized you will become to these shifts. You will practically
begin to see when one or another of the selves takes over
control of the psyche.
As you observe changes in the energy patterns, you will notice
when you are moving out of contact with a self. Perhaps another
has come in, or perhaps it is time to end this particular
part of the facilitation
When you are talking to a self, the subject is in an altered
state of awareness. There is no ego present to protect your
client. Treat this with respect and caution. Try to avoid
interruptions and do not leave the client alone when in a
self. If it is necessary to leave, return the subject to the
place of the ego and separate him or her from the self that
you have been exploring.
It is best to return to a primary self before ending the session.
This helps to anchor the work. Do not leave the client or
subject in a self at the end of a session. Always return to
the position of the ego (or Aware Ego). Leave 10 minutes or
more to summarize and discuss what has happened. This gives
the subject a chance to center and to prepare to go back out
in the world.
The Awareness is a position of non-judgmental consideration
of the selves. It gives an overview that we see as similar
to the witness state that people achieve in meditation.
In order to develop this Awareness, ask your client to stand
beside you facing the selves and then summarize the important
points of the session for him/her. You can be as brief or
detailed as you wish, but be objective. This gives clearly
delineated insights and enables the client or subject to "see"
the selves, their roles and their interactions. Sometimes
during this summary, additional insights or realizations will
spontaneously emerge as the client "looks" at the
selves in this way.
At the end of the session, always return the client to the
original chair or position. Leave adequate time (at least
10 minutes) for discussion. This is a time for you to help
your client to separate from the selves that have spoken and
to integrate the work that has been done. It is important
to discuss what has happened and to encourage the subject
to speak about his or her reactions.
If the session has been particularly intense, it would be
appropriate to suggest that the client take some extra time
before returning to the daily routine. This is a time to be
quiet and to savor the experience, to take a walk, to get
something to eat, or to have a cup of coffee or tea.
In Voice Dialogue, never go beyond your level of comfort
either as a facilitator or as a subject. As a therapist, we
suggest that you let your clients know that they are not expected
to push beyond what seems comfortable for them.
Taping these sessions can be extremely valuable. The client
is able to listen to the selves after the session is over
and this can induct even greater awareness and insight.
If possible, we suggest that sessions last at least one and
one half hours. This gives adequate time for the selves to
emerge clearly and then allows additional time at the end
of the session for discussion and centering.
We cannot do justice to the complexity of the Voice Dialogue
process in such a brief article. However, we have covered
the basic information. For a more complete explanation of
this work and for transcripts of typical Voice Dialogue sessions,
please refer to our book, Embracing Our Selves
In Closing
Voice Dialogue as an instrument is the same for everyone,
but the sound of the music it plays is different for each
of us. Each of us brings to this instrument our own individual
background or belief system and a specific set of interests
and talents. We have different levels of maturity and our
own specific skills. Thus, although the instrument of Voice
Dialogue is the same for us all, the music that each person
produces will be unique.
copyright 1991 by Delos |
